I’m currently on 16hours plus and counting since I mistakenly upgraded my iPhone to the new ios9 operating system. 

It was a complete error on my part as, a number of days since users reported the first failures and difficulties, not only did Apple fail to take the upgrade down but my hand slipped on a bumpy train ride and started installing this communications irritant. 

So far so good however I thought as the device told me it was all done and there were just a few more short steps to complete. Hallelujah! I thought. Painless. 

How wrong could I be?

First off I thought it was a wifi issue, I work in an unnetworked building so I took myself off to a coffee shop. One skinny latte down, bought as I thought it too rude to use the free service, I was none the wiser so went back to the office to scour the net. 

It was all a bit technical so I decided to try a different coffee chain with, according to my colleagues, a better wifi network. 

Still no luck so I called Apple Support, bypassing I hoped, the need to spend £25 due to having a two year old iPhone 5 due to a problem entirely of Apples’ making in not testing it properly and  compounded by their stupidity /arrogance in not taking it down when problems first emerged and hoping no one would notice. 

It is a known problem, sorry, said the genial support chap at the other end of the line. I’ve had to fix hundreds in the last few days so don’t worry. 

It later transpired that I had cause to worry as there was no way that work systems would allow for the necessary download of and connection to iTunes and that this would have to either be carried out on my ancient, wheezing MacBook or on the dreaded new Microsoft desktop system I’m just not keen on. 

So, I got home, got things set up and got on the phone to Apple support. THIRTY MINUTES later ( a shoddy response time only exceeded in my neck of the woods by Essex police last week), I got put through only to be cut off as they went off in search of an iTunes 11 manual and so tried again. A much quicker fifteen minutes of my life was spent waiting for my next call to be answered only to be talked through it so fast I could barely keep up. I have to admit to saying ok, got it rather than show my complete computer ignorance up yet again in one day.  

By trail and much error I eventually got there until I made the fatal error of trying to restore from icloud. 

It took me straight back to the slider of doom where you are lulled into a false sense if security by the machine which then decides it wasn’t going to update after all. 

So, in the general spirit of sharing here is my guide to dealing with Apples inadequacies:

1 – don’t! Leave them to it. At least until they have bothered to fix it properly. 

2 – if you really have to disable and turn off find my phone (icloud settings) before you start as this may save several hours later. 

3 – make sure you have backed up 

4 – update on iTunes only as this appears to be the more succesful method.

5 – if the screen slider of doom appears then it’s time for a forced reset. Turn it off, connect it to your PC, press the home button until the cable picture appears as instructed in Apple Support pages. 

6 – restore it and do not be tempted to restore it via the cloud because thus far the two don’t seem compatible  

Good luck!

(Having ignored point sux I am still waiting to see if my phone will be restored to health over night – I’m not holding my breath for Apple to get this right).